The Plagued Parent

posts about surviving our children, the Baby Boomers who raised us, and everyone else with an opinion...

Faded Memories

Photographs are placed throughout the house. They depict the days gone by, smiles that have been. Memories.
Sometimes I think I should put them away. Box up the memories. Out of sight, out of mind. It seems to work for others. I bet they have boxed up all those photos.
But I cannot bring myself to do it.
I look at the pictures and I can remember exactly what was happening when they were taken. I can hear the laughter, feel the smiles.
I know that was real.
Yet, when I enter the Room with the Closed Door, it feels as though I have entered a time warp. I see her things, books, pens, stuffed animals just as she left them. I see the bed, still unchanged from the day she left. I see notes on her desk…things to do, a list of her finances…
and this doesn’t feel real.
It is as though I have entered an altered universe, a faded memory.

Updated: April 1, 2015 — 8:43 am

16 Comments

  1. I know this feeling all too well sadly as we have lost a few of my close relatives, such as grandparents and now as the years go on and my own parents get older and more will have to deal with this once again. Wish it won’t be for some time, but also know the reality sadly. Thank you for once again linking up I with us today and sharing.

    1. plaguedparent@gmail.com

      Sometimes ignoring reality is best! Obviously not realistic, but sometimes it is best. 🙂

  2. Pictures can indeed bring back memories and smiles of days gone by. I tend to keep a lot of old photos out and on display myself. I think they help me get through hard days at times – visually seeing and remembering happier days. It can of course work the other way as well, unfortunately. Sometimes the pictures make me wish I could go back to that happy time. Still, I keep them out because more often than not, they make me smile. I know I can’t go back. I have to keep going in the here and now. I have to take more pictures. Your heartfelt post inspires a lot of thought. I think photos always pull a lot of heartstrings – some good, some bad. I wish you happier days ahead – and photos to help you remember them. 🙂

    1. plaguedparent@gmail.com

      Thank you for your wish..I really like that, I hope it comes true. 🙂

  3. My mom had an antique dresser that we moved upstairs by the baby bed for her to store the little grandkids clothes and diapers for when they come visit, and I was tasked with taking all of the clothes and stuff piled on the book case and put it neatly in the dresser. I got it done and mom walked over and was like wow! It’s so clean.. and that’s when we looked up and saw my brother’s ashes and pictures from his funeral. It’s one of those things that doesn’t feel real…

    1. plaguedparent@gmail.com

      Oh Im so sorry for your loss! That must have been a difficult realization, finding those things. Life sometimes takes on some very surreal qualities, doesn’t it?

  4. I can’t imagine how painful this must be.

    1. plaguedparent@gmail.com

      It is the ultimate irony when it comes to things like memories.

  5. So much love to you, your strength inspires me

    1. plaguedparent@gmail.com

      You are the best. That is all.

  6. Oh sweetheart.. my heart breaks for you, I can only imagine how hard it must be – I hope that things will be resolved one day.

    *hugging you* (virtually) x

    Take care, kimmie x

    1. plaguedparent@gmail.com

      Thank you for those virtual hugs Kimmie! Really appreciate your support 🙂

  7. I dont know the whole story and yet I felt that heavy feeling that you are describing. #pocolo

    1. plaguedparent@gmail.com

      Thank you xo

  8. I can’t imagine how hard this must be. I am sorry for what has happened – I have just caught up on your ‘Our Story’page. I have to say that I believe that I would do exactly what you have done and leave everything ready for her to come back. My biggest fear is this happening with my daughter. I hope that something happens to ease all of this soon for you. Thank you for linking to #PoCOLo x

    1. plaguedparent@gmail.com

      Thank you, I would not wish this on anyone! Hopefully you never have this happen. I had always said to my children to make the most of every day because you just do not know what might happen… however,this kind of irony I can live without.
      I appreciate you connecting 🙂

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